


Clap Your Hands If You Believe

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Eventual Happy Ending, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Gen, Lots of Angst, M/M, No Smut, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester is Not Okay, You Have Been Warned, cas gets the love he deserves for once, castiel is a self sacrificing piece of shit but we love him, temporarily blind castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:48:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24389902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple spellIt was supposed to be a simple huntIt was....It wasn't supposed to end like thisNot like thisUPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	1. Saving Grace

\--Sunday, March 23rd--

It was supposed to be a simple spell. 

Actually, scratch that. Spells that involved grace were never simple. But the Winchesters had done it before. What could go wrong?

Famous last words. 

Dean thought that with Chuck and Amara fucking off to who knows where and Lucifer gone and Crowley being less of a nuisance, they could finally relax. 

Nope.

For the last month, Sam, Dean, and Castiel had been hunting...something. None of them even had a clue of what it might be, and neither did any of the other hunters that they knew. Sam had flipped through the library, Cas had flown all over the world looking for some clue of what it might be, and Dean had gone through their lists of contacts three times with the same results.

Currently, the three of them were hunched over the map table, some form of alchohol within arms reach, poring over the new stack of books that Cas had gotten from somewhere in Albania. Sam rubbed his eyes and sighed, taking a long pull of the beer that had gone lukewarm and flat. "Anyone find anything?"

Dean slammed his book shut and leaned back in his chair. "Bupkis". Cas nodded his agreement. Sam groaned and flopped face first onto the table, his forehread hitting the glass with an audible thunk. 

"We've been looking for three weeks, how can we not know what it is?"

Dean shrugged, reaching for the bowl of snacks situated between then. "Dunno Sam. Maybe it's like the first person to discover a wendigo. They had no idea what the hell that thing was, and nothing to go off of obviously" 

Sam turned slightly so that he could glance at him out of the corner of his eye. "So you think, what? That we've discovered a new kind of monster?" 

"Maybe" This was said around a mouthful of pretzels and Sam wrinkled his nose at his brother's apparant lack of table manners. 

"Hey Cas, can you read me the coroner's report for the victims again? What links them?" The angel fumbled for the file and rubbed his eyes.

"Uh yeah. Alright. It's always two people with some sort of relationship, romantic or platonic. Both people in the pair died. Causes of death varies but they killed eachother at more or less the same time" 

Sam drummed his pencil across the the tabletop. "I'm stumped. Seriously, what could it be? Not demons, not vamps, not werewolves..." he trailed off and drank the last of his beer. Dean's jaw stretched in a yawn, the pretzels forgotten. Even Castiel, who didn't need to sleep, was looking decidedly exhausted.

"Well, we're not going to figure anything out tonight. Why don't we come back to it tommorrow?" 

Dean gave him an incredulous look. "Cas, we can't. People are dying!" The angel met his gaze evenly. 

"They've been dying for the past three weeks, Dean. What difference will it make if you sleep three hours?" Sam grinned and shut his book. 

"I second that notion" and with that, he headed off towards the bedrooms. With Sam gone, an odd tension filled the room, and Dean and Castiel squinted at eachother from opposite sides of the map table. 

"Are you going to go to bed?" Dean shook his head, thumbing without purpose through the book infront of him. 

"Nah. I'm not lazy" This statement earned him a look and Castiel's head tilted a little more. 

"Excuse me?" Dean spread his hands, looking decidedly holier-than-thou. 

"Oh, it's nothing you know, I just don't give up like...certain people when the going's getting tough, that's all" 

Castiel straightened up, back going rigid and hands clenching under the table. "And what's that supposed to mean?" 

The air crackled between them and as if linked, the two stood at the same time, frowns slipping into full on glares. "I seem to remember you going crazy during that whole leviathan fiasco. Pretty convienient timing. You didn't lift a damn finger to help us!" 

"I was taking on Sam's madness! I fixed him!" 

"After you broke him in the first place! You weren't crazy, you were a _coward!_ " The sound that left Castiel's mouth was nearly a snarl. 

"Alright. You want to point fingers? Fine! Who kicked me out of the bunker 16 _hours_ after I was killed?" 

"Well-" 

"Who kicked me out of the bunker without a SINGLE penny to my name? Who kicked me out of the bunker with ZERO knowledge of how to live? WHO KICKED ME OUT OF THE BUNKER-" he stopped here for a moment, as if he couldn't get the words out. "Who kicked me out of the bunker when I needed you most?" 

Dean paused for a moment, stung. _When you can't deal with the guilt, go on the offensive._

"I kicked you out because Gadreel made me!"

Castiel scoffed. "No one _makes_ us do anything Dean. I thought that was what you were all about. Free will?" A bitter laugh. "You're a _joke_ " 

The hunter bristled visibly, inching closer. Cas seemed to have the same idea and advanced too. "Now wait a minute here, correct me if I'm wrong. But I seem to recall it was you who told me 'Ezekiel' would be a good idea. Maybe you fucking deserved to be kicked out of this place after all" 

"I told you about Ezekiel, nothing more. I didn't know he was Gadreel. I didn't tell you to lie to your brother, I didn't tell you to trick him into letting an angel posses him. That was all you Dean" 

They were barely 4 inches apart now. 

"What about the time you lied to us? That whole time you were working with Crowley? I defended you dammit!" Cas gritted his teeth. 

"I've told you Dean, over and over, I thought I was doing the right thing!" 

Suddenly, an angel blade was at his neck and he was being shoved against the wall.

"I KNOW YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE!" The hunter roared. "BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE A DAMN THING" 

A normal person would have been cowed, scared even. Cas wasn't a normal person. He twisted a little and all of a sudden, his hand was around Dean's throat, not enough to restrict speech, but enough to hurt.

"Or maybe we can talk about the time you brought Sam back from Hell. Souless. WHAT ABOUT THAT?!" The hand tightened and the angel blade dug in a little deeper, glinting silver in the warm light of the room. 

"You really think" Castiel bit out, "That I would bring your brother back souless on purpose? I brought both of you out of Hell. Never ONCE have I asked for anything in return. Never" 

"Well I didn't ASK you to let out Leviathan! I didn't ASK you to say yes to Lucifer!" 

"And I didn't ASK to be chosen to save your sorry ass over and over!" The air buzzed. A drop of blood appeared right where the blade was cutting in deepest, and Dean's lungs were starting to protest. 

"I SHOULD HAVE LET YOU ROT" 

This came from both of them at the same time and it was entirely possible that two deaths would have occured that night if not for Sam firing his shotgun into the wood of a bookcase. 

"HEY!" Dean and Cas' heads whipped around, their bodies locked in the same position. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" 

The two blinked as if coming out of a daze. "Hey Sammy, what's up?" 

Sam's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "Why are you trying to kill Cas?" 

At this, Dean looked confused and turned back to the angel. As soon as they made eye contact, the glare was back and they promptly went back to trying to murder each other. Sam looked half confused, half exasperated and fired his shotgun again. 

"GUYS! CUT IT OUT!" He sighed, dragging his hands down his face. "Don't make me abuse the bookshelf anymore" 

Cas turned towards him, smiling as if he wasn't just choking the life out of his brother. "Oh, hello Sam. Did you need something?" 

The exasperation turned to concern. "Uh yeah. Why are you guys at each other's throats?" 

He got the same reaction, both Dean and Cas looked very puzzled and turned to look at the other. "DONT LOOK AT EACH OTHER" he yelled just as they were about to make eye-contact. "I don't know what's going on here, but it looks like whenever one of you sees the other person, you start going Fallout 4" 

This seemed to confuse the two even more. 

"Yeah. I know. It's weird, But I think you probably shouldn't face each other for now. Dean turn around, Cas you too. Stand back to back" 

Once they were out of each other's line of sight, the weird tension seemed to ebb and Castiel put a hand to his forehead, as if he was having a migrane. 

"Dean? Was I yelling at you about kicking me out of the bunker?" Sam's eyebrows went soaring for the second time and he fixed his brother with a "we are talking about this later" look.

Dean swallowed nervously before his own headache hit and he winced. "And was I getting on your case about Gadreel?" Sam raised his hands. 

"Look guys, it's late and I don't know what happened, but I think it's best if we all go to bed. We can figure this out in the morning"

This time, Dean didn't argue. 


	2. Worth The Price

\-- Monday, March 24 --

The day was passing slowly. Sam hadn't allowed Cas or Dean to see each other since the incident last night. 

"Until we figure out what the hell is going on, you two aren't even going to breathe next to each other" he declared, stalking off to read through more books. So that had left Dean alone in the kitchen with his notes, and Cas at the map table with Sam. The hours dragged on painfully slowly, the stack of books seeming to grow rather than shrink. 

Sometime around 10:30, Sam carefully put down an old leather notebook and announced that he was going to bed. "Sorry Cas, I don't have much more in me". He didn't sound very sorry and Castiel didn't blame him. Nearly a month of getting nowhere was draining for them all. 

He watched Sam dissapear down the hallway, a fond smile on his face. The younger Winchester had been growing on him since the day they'd met. He winced as he recalled the first thing he'd said. _Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood_. It flitted across his mind occasionally and somehow, he hadn't found the time to apologize. He let his forehead rest against the table. Hours of inactivity was turning his brain to putty. Turning his face to the side, he found Dean sitting next to him, looking down at the table. 

"Hey Cas, can we talk?" With some effort, he pushed himself up and faced the wall, so that he and Dean were sitting back to back. 

"Of course, Dean" He felt, rather than saw, Dean clench his jaw and run a hand through his hair. The classic "pre Winchester speech pose". 

"You know, this is exactly how that conversation started two years ago" As if Castiel could forget. 

"Do you still blame yourself for that?" he asked gently. That seemed to be the magic phrase because the floodgates opened and Dean just kept talking. 

"Of course I do! How could I not? You had been human for how long? 24 hours? Less? And I didn't give you shit, did I? No money, no food, no explanation, I just told you to get out!" He took a breath and went on. "Oh god and all those times you tried to help when I had the mark, I beat you to a pulp, Cas, and you didn't even fight back! I always wondered why and it hit me last night. You didn't want to hurt me, right? I wish you would've. I deserved it" 

Castiel felt his shoulders shaking against his back and his heart broke. Dean's hand was resting on the table and Cas gingerly streched his own out and curled his pinkie around Dean's. He felt the hunter go still and his breath hitch, but he didn't pull away. 

"And all those things I shouted at you yesterday. I swear, I don't know what came over me, but you need to hear me now. Nothing I said means anything, Cas, I swear. I've forgiven you for it all a long time ago. Hell, half of it wasn't your fault anyway!" His voice became increasingly more ragged and Castiel knew he was trying not to get weepy. "Dammit Cas. I'm so sorry" 

Castiel turned and pulled Dean against his chest, resting his head on his shoulder and basically pulling the hunter into his lap. Dean just put his arms around Cas's middle and hung on for dear life. "You have nothing to apologize for, Dean. Please" 

He ran his fingers through the short hairs at the back of Dean's neck trying to comfort him. If anything, this made Dean cry harder. "It's alright Dean. I've heard everything you've said but now you must listen to me" He felt him nod, face still tucked against his neck.

"It. Is. Okay. I understand why you did what you did. You thought your brother would be in danger if I stayed. I would never ask you to prioritize me over him. He's your family" He sighed, still petting the back of Dean's neck. "And as for what happened with the Mark of Cain, how can you think that was your fault? You were under the influence of the Mark. You were right, I didn't want to hurt you, and that is exactly why I didn't fight back. You didn't deserve to be hurt"

Castiel held Dean until he stopped shaking. "You know, I think an apology is in order" 

Before he could say anything else, however, Dean was already shaking his head. "No, Cas, you've not nothing to apologize for" 

"But-"

" _Nothing_ , Cas. Just..." The angel felt Dean's face heat up in embarrasment. "CanIstayhereforawhile?" 

He smiled. "As you wish" 

* * *

Sam found them the next morning, curled up on the couch. When he first saw them, he didn't a double take. _Surely_ that wasn't his emotionally constipated brother. Upon closer inspection...apparently it was. A small smile crept over his face. Good. Some progress was being made. If only he'd tell the friggin angel how he felt. As Sam headed off to make the coffee, a small worm of doubt began to eat away at his mind. 

_What if they woke up and tried to kill each other again?_

_What if Dean woke up and did his inevitable no homo thing?_

He paused at the library's exit. _They could handle it, right? They were both adults?_

He discarded that train of though immediately. It was a billion year old angel and Dean Winchester. Too much room for error. On that note, he turned on his heel and sat down at the map table. If things went downhill, at least he could do something about it. 

Two books later, Dean began to stir. Sam watched his face go from confusion, to recognition, to horror, to embarrasment in the span of 4 seconds. As his brother began to untangle himself, Sam quitely cleared his throat and shook his head firmly. _You better stay there_ , his expression said. 

Dean raised his eyebrows. An obvious _what?_

_Stay there_

_Why??_

_Because it's Cas!_

_So?_

_Dean don't screw this up_

_..._

Sam stood up, pointed at the kitchen, mouthed the word "coffee" and left with an "I'm watching you". As he rounded the corner, Cas's eyes opened. 

"Hello, Dean" he rumbled. 

"H-Hey Cas. You sleep okay?" 

Castiel shrugged, sitting up. Dean would die before admitting he kind of missed the angel's warmth. "I don't need to, but once I saw that you'd fallen asleep, I couldn't bring myself to move" He suddenly looked rather alarmed. "You weren't uncomfortable, were you? I tried to keep you warm by putting my wings around you but I was afraid it wasn't enough.." He trailed off at Dean's expression. "What is it?" 

"Sorry. Back that up a moment. You said your _wings?_ " 

Castiel looked a little flustered as he nodded. "Yes. I kept them in the ethereal plane as not to burn you. Was it okay?" 

He looked like an eager puppy and Dean's heart did loop-de-loops in his chest. "Uh. Yeah, Cas. It was okay. More than okay actually" He left out the part about it being the best sleep he'd had in years. Cas's face broke out in a gummy smile and suddenly, Dean found it a little hard to breathe. 

"Oh good. I'm glad you're feeling a little better" He stood up and stretched, fixing his trenchcoat. "I think Sam's making coffee. Why don't we get you some breakfast?" 

* * *

While Dean filled his mouth with bacon, Castiel told Sam what had happened last night, leaving out the "schmoopy" bits at Dean's request. Sam occasioanlly nodded his approval before he noticed something. 

"Hey Cas, did you look at Dean this morning?" When the angel nodded, puzzled, he turned to his brother. "And Dean, you looked at Cas this morning too, right?" Dean nodded, a piece of bacon falling onto his plate. "Have you had the urge to bash his brains out? Either of you?" 

Understanding slowly dawned on the two of them as matching grins decorated their features. "Nope!" said Dean cheerfully, draining half his coffee in a single draft. Castiel looked thoughtful. 

"Sam, I think I need to check something. Where did you put the coroner's files?" 

20 minutes later, the three of them were huddled around the map table, squinting at a manilla folder. "Alright" said Castiel, pointing at the list of victims. "What do we know? Always a pair, always some kind of relationship, both died around the same time" 

Sam nodded. "Alright... so?" 

"So, you could say that Dean and I have some kind of a relationship right?" 

Dean choked and Sam grinned. "You could say that, yes" 

"And when you walked in, Dean was about to cut my throat and I was about to asphixyate him. You could say that we were going to die at about the same time. Sound familiar?" 

"Oh... OH!" Sam punched the air. "Cas, do you recognize this?"

"Unfortunately, I do. It's a very old spell, some of the most powerful witches have died trying to cast it. The principle of it is to affect anyone who has some sort of 'unresovled tension'" 

Dean frowned. "That doesn't sound like much. What's the kicker?"

"The problem is, it affects everyone within nearly a thousand mile radius and it doesn't stop. I think we're in the early stages of it. The spell starts in the center and works it's way out over the course of..." he paused as if doing imaginary calculations in his head. "Four to six months?" 

Both the Winchester's faces fell. "Well damn. It's like a miny apocalypse isn't it?" Dean grunted. 

"How do we stop it?" 

"There's a counter spell. It's only a few ingridents but there's a long incantation you'll need to speak at the end. Nearly 3 hours of chanting" He snapped his fingers. "Has anyone seen a red notebook? It'll have a gold symbol embossed on the front. I highly doubt the men of letters will-" 

Sam let out a rather unmanly squeal and tore off towards the back of the library, tearing through the bookshelves to emerge a moment later with a small, red, notebook. "Is this it?" 

When Castiel nodded, Sam whooped and practically threw the book over to the angel. "FINALLY! AFTER THREE WEEKS!" His brother side eyed him. "What?"

Dean cleared his throat. "Nothing. Right. What do we need Cas?" 

"Sage, holy water, silver dust, wild boar's blood and angel grace" Sam, who was ticking off the ingrediants on his fingers, stopped short. 

"Angel grace? Where are we going to get that?" Castiel gave him a pointed look and Sam's eyes widened. "Oh hell no Cas! We are not using yours!"

"Yeah! Who knows what it'll do to you again?" This was from Dean. 

"If you were in my place, what would you do?" asked Castiel quietly. 

"I-" Dean cut himself off. Deep down, he knew Cas was right, Sam knew too. "I don't like it, Cas" 

The angel gave him a small smile. "Neither do I, Dean, but it's what you do right? Saving people, hunting things?" He turned away and began the walk to the storeroom. "The family buisiness"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those of you who giggled at the "influence"  
> i see you


End file.
